Self-talk is the game charger, it can either destroy or inspire you to soar!
The way you talk to yourself impacts on your life and wellbeing. You can be the inner judge, critic, victim, or an empowered goddess. Self-talk matters!
Self-talk is something we do naturally throughout the day. It can be used as a powerful tool to change our life and gain confidence, motivation, and passion. It can also be an indicator of our nervous system state.
Consider these 2 statements.
Rumination: Negative Self talk
I am always yelling at the kids. I struggle being a mum. This is always so hard, and I will never feel confident again my body. (This is self-defeating).
Positive Self Talk
I am doing this best I can, being a mum. At the end of the day, I love my kids and they love me. Look at me and my voluptuous curves, I love these colours on me and I feel amazing and gorgeous.
We have all, had these thoughts, both positive and negative. You may even hear yourself, call yourself a name ‘stupid, idiot, etc’. This is great information as it gives us an insight to our self-beliefs. So how do you get started in changing your self talk?
Changing Self Talk
Step 1
Listen and Learn
Make some time over the next few days to really listen to your self-talk. Be curious and open to the inner dialogues. Are there any repeated themes/ words and phrases? I like to name my thoughts e.g there is my judge or there is my victim voice. This can be really enlightening.
We can place self-talk into 4 categories – personalising, magnifying, catastrophising and polarising. These categories show us our biases, the ways we use negative self-talk in everyday life.
Step 2
Be Open and Curious
Ask yourself is this really the truth?
Am I really tired at the moment?
Am I labelling myself harshly?
Am I overgeneralising things? E.g This is always happening to me.
Is this all or nothing self-talk?
Am I mind reading and assuming that is what people are thinking about me?
Step 3
Time to be the game changer. Reframe time!
Example 1
What an idiot, I always make mistakes when I am doing public speaking.
Reframe
It’s okay, I gave it my best shot, and everyone makes mistakes sometimes.
This step takes practice and over time, it makes the difference. Print out my PDF sheet for changing your self-talk.
Self-talk is the game changer. Many times, it highlights our dominant negative self-belief. It is like a script that we use to frame our lives. We can’t always control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we respond to it.